RELATIONSHIP Archives - Njeri Georgios

Because it all starts with you

How often do you meet people who tell you that maintaining your identity is the fundamental step in securing your relationship with others?

Since I was a child, I have grown up listening to, “compromise is what keeps relationship safe.” Back then, I was a kid and could not think out of the box. I did not know that the world is filled with people who will mistake your kind-heartedness for vulnerability. I did not realize that being apologetic in every argument will put you in a situation where you will lose track of who you were, above all, what is your worth. Just sit back tight, my friend, because this woman is going to share her life experience that she gained over the years with you so that no more people have to learn some basic life lessons the harder way.

RELATIONSHIPS AND PERSONAL IDENTITY

The world is so small, yet so large. You will find all kinds of people once you get out of the eggshell. But remember one piece of advice, my friend, you don’t need to get along with all of them nicely and smoothly. Real-life is far different from the catchy pictures you will find in my kid’s drawing books, where a girl named Dora hangs out with all the animals of the jungle, and they all fit well with each other.

MAINTAINING PERSONAL IDENTITY WHILE MEETING NEW PEOPLE

Different people have different personalities; each person has his own set of requirements and a separate school of thought. Even your siblings with whom you have grown up might respond to the same general question in a very different way that their mutual difference might shock you. Then I won’t be wrong speaking the same for someone you might be seeing or working with for the first time.

If you do not get along with some people well, it does not necessarily mean there is a problem with how you communicate with people. Always look at things from a third person’s perspective. This trick might help you assess yourself in arguments. No matter how you tackle the situation at that time, remember one thing: your first impression will have an impact on how people treat you, forever. Never forget who you are and how you deserve to be treated.

MAINTAINING YOUR IDENTITY IN MARRIED LIFE

Marriages and relationships work with commitment. You have to embrace your partner for everything he is, and for everything that he is not. Couples often have to work out on their personalities to get aligned with their partners. (ex: if your partner does not like tobacco’s smell, you have to give up the habit of smoking).

There is a very thin line that separates devotion from dependence when it comes to marriages. Always be expressive of your insecurities. Never let your worries silence you. Talk about the stuff that matters to you. Marriages often fail when one of the partners feels being left behind. I often tell my clients who seek relationships advice: a relationship is like a two-wheeled cart, where each partner is a wheel. If either of the wheels breaks down, the whole cart breaks down. You both have a part to play.

MAINTAINING YOUR IDENTITY WITH FAMILY MEMBERS

I often hear people saying that they find different versions of themselves around their family and a different person when hanging with people outside the family. There is a straightforward answer to this problem. People tend to express themselves more often the way they think their family would expect them to be.

Well, I strongly discourage this approach. Faking your behavior creates a particular set of expectations that might be unsuitable for a person’s values. (ex: if you fake being a non-veg in front of your in-laws just because they all are non-veg can end up in total discomfort over many family dinners).

Always confide in your preferences and be open to letting people around you know them. Let the people around you know the real you, not the actor that acts to please everybody and end up being unpleased herself. I am sure they will be supportive of your preferences, just in case they don’t, at least you will have the freedom of being yourself.

You can also read:https://njerigeorgios.com/category/motherhood/happy-family/

MAINTAINING YOUR IDENTITY WHILE BEING A MOTHER

Sure, parents sacrifice a lot in bringing up their kids. I often see college friends who used to be good at singing, saying, “dude, I ‘m a mother of two now,” when asked to sing the song they used to rock back in college.

Growing and adopting a sophisticated lifestyle is one thing, but changing your habits or the things you once took pleasure in, just because they do not align with the title you hold now, is different. Taking out time for yourself is very important being a mother, or it can affect your motherhood. Plan your week properly and have time for yourself. Go out with your friends to restaurants like you used to do when you were in college. Identify what you take pleasure in and do them more often because you will be a great mother if you will be significant to yourself.

You can also read:https://njerigeorgios.com/category/motherhood/career-mom/

CONCLUSION

Life is the name of balance. Have a balance of everything, and you will find a positive change in your life. Marriage, parenting, and job should not be the factors deciding your life. Never forget who you are, and the rest of the world won’t. But be humble at the same time, treat people with empathy and always be kind and affectionate. As a critic says, “the world is a small place, what goes around, comes around.”

These were the experiences I have had through ups and downs in my personal life and career. I am sharing these experiences so that no woman out there has to go through the harsh path to learn these basic life rules. Reach out to me for further assistance and advice.